Lord Kyriakides?

I have always fancied a title. Perhaps I can put my name forward to Mr Johnson. It seems that the House of Lords is very biased towards staying in the European Union and Mr Johnson may need to create 500 or so new life peers who support Brexit in order to get Brexit over the line.

Now I am a democratic and am in favour of the abolition of the House of Lords but as it is there and could stand in the way of Brexit I am prepared to do my democratic duty and become a life peer, if Mr Johnson can put my name forward to the Queen.

It would tick all the diversity boxes imaginable – there are no peers of Greek Cypriot/Czechoslovak origin at all. This is a vastly under represented ethnicity in this county.

It’s about time we had a peer of Greek Cypriot/Czechoslovak origin.

I promise to attend the House of Lords purely to vote and debate Brexit. I would not draw any fees or emoluments – it would cost the country nothing, not even fares because I could use my bus pass to get to and from Westminster. Once Brexit was resolved I would resign my title and never attend the Lords again.

So, Prime Minister, may I have a title?